This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I think I won the penis lottery.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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