you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
