i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
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