Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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