All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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