The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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