Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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