I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
