Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
