Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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