he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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