Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
