I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I came so hard my ears popped.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
