could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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