i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
