I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
