High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
party gras won. party gras always wins.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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