From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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