dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We are all done wearing pants today
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
