Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
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having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
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"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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