She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
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