dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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