THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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