I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
But theres a keg here and me gusta
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
