You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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