are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
