did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
