Fuck appropriateness.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
The beer is more important than you right now.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
