woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
