But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Can I color on your dick again?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
