I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
