She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
