Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize