hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
