I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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