The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
