I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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