You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
