He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
