I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
