Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
The power of my boobs compel you
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
