Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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