Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
