Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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