Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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