this just has baby written all over it
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Come see our sink grown plant.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
