I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Floor bacon is actually really good
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
