mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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