Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize