Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
