he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
