shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
