my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
