I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
No subtext here. People are naked.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
