For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
