if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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