Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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