She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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