I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize