The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You ruined the universe
Randomize